2009-2010 Season Predictions & Babes

 

Straight up, no chaser; King James & Co. will Crowned as '10 Champs

 

Predictions

• In this exact order; the Cavaliers, Lakers, Spurs, Celtics, and Magic are the realistic candidates for the gold this year.
• To slim things down, the playoffs will shrink down to the Lakers edging the revitalized Spurs before losing a tight series to James, Shaq and the Cavaliers.
• MVP= LeBron, ROY= Griffin, 6th Man= Ginobili, Coach of the Year= Phil Jackson, Defensive POY= D. Howard

To cake things up, I’m going to pair all of the team’s potency on a babe-based scaling.

The Megan Fox Class

1. Cleveland Cavaliers – As much as I despise evergrowing pool of LeBron penis-riders, he’s getting the hang of this, and is definitely tired of coming up short. Shaq is here, ask Kobe and Dwyane Wade how much appreciated his assistance was during the Finals.

2. LA Lakers - Ron Artest’s addition is gorgeous. Kobe is there, as is Odom, Gasol, Bynum and a clan of improved young ones. I love this bunch, but I can see them slip during a close series. I hate to be the 32482557th person to point it out, but Artest must cool it if this team wants another ring.

3. San Antonio Spurs – Crafty vets. Addition of a hungry/competitive Richard Jefferson–Really crafty. Parker/Duncan pair, Ginobili, newly added Antonio McDyess. Stop sleeping on them; they will creep up come June.

4. Boston Celtics – Rasheed is a decent addition. Young point guard, Rajon Rondo is the platform for this season, if he slips up, believe it or not, Garnett, Pierce, Allen etc. will too.

The Eva Mendez Class

5. Orlando Magic – Very talented, flexible crew. Yeah, Hedo Turkoglu is gone, but Vince Carter, Brandon Bass are explosive as July 4th. Jason Williams (yes, the “White Chocolate”) and Matt Barnes will spice up this offense. Don’t worry about the defense, last year’s Defensive of the Year, Dwight Howard got that.

6. New Orleans Hornets – Pretty much the same bunch, excluding the addition of Emeka Okafor. They’re just here because it’d be epic failure to distrust Chris Paul’s pioneer-ship, c’mon.

7. Toronto Raptors – Full revamp. Jack, Bellinelli, Turkoglu (!!), Wright, Reggie Evans, Amir Johnson. The core hasn’t left either, Calderon (stellar), Bosh and Bargnani will be providing headaches.

8. Utah Jazz - Injuries aside, will they live by the 3, or die by it again?

9. Houston Rockets – Let’s do math. McGrady + Ariza + Scola/Brooks – Yao Ming = No Championship.

The Marisa Miller Class

10. Portland TrailBlazers – Andre Miller can lead a team, take it from a Philly fan. But in the West Coast, creeping age and overwhelming talent/pressure? Check yourself. If they go anywhere, thank Brandon Roy and LaMarcus Aldridge.

11. Denver Nuggets – Unorganized, robust talent. Billups must continue to hold things down. Team must keep emotions aside also. J.R. Smith finally gets his starting spot, it will rain 3 pointers in Denver.

12. Phoenix Suns – Solid season.

13. Detroit Pistons – Facelift!

14. Miami Heat - Never doubt Wade’s leadership skills. Do doubt his knack for getting injured. It’s all about trust around here and Dwyane isn’t a bad player to trust.

15. Dallas Mavericks – Marion is perfect for this style of play. Expect a better season than last year in Dallas.

The Adrianna Lima Class

16. Washington Wizards – Mike Miller will help the shooting. If Arenas were to stay healthy, playoffs are realistic.

17. Atlanta Hawks – Behind Joe Johnson, Josh Smith and Al Horford they’ll shine in the East side of things. Lets just hope Joe Johnson doesn’t slap Jamal Crawford for his shot selections.

18. Chicago Bulls - Huge statistic upgrade for Rose. Waiting on players like Noah and Thomas to adapt to the other aspects of basketball, such as offense.

19. Philadelphia 76ers – Elton Brand is back, Andre Miller is gone. Tons of young flammable talent here. Thad Young(21), Speights (22), Lou Williams (21), to think these guys couldn’t legally pop open a can of booze 2 years ago, but can play better than half the world. Andre Iguodala (only 25!) must improve his shot to be a complete player. Rodney Carney (only 25!) returns back to Philadelphia also. Leadership is on Williams’ shoulders, that’s a boo-boo.

20. Golden State Warriors – A very bad soap opera in the making.

The Jessica Biel Class

21. Memphis Grizzlies – Dangerous iso players. Mayo, Gay, Iverson all can put up 30 on command. Can they mesh together for a playoff spot? Uhhh.

22. New Jersey Nets - They’re quick. Devin Harris makes their fastbreaks look colorful.

23. Charlotte Bobcats – Minor additions for their offensive push.

24. Indiana Pacers – Dahntay Jones won’t change much around here, sorry.

25. Oklahoma City Thunder - What more can Durant do for this squad? I know, bulk up and take notes from Jeff Green, or even Charlotte’s Gerald Wallace, on how to have a better all-around game. Besides that, the young ones are blooming.

The Gisele Bundchen Class

26. New York Knicks – Hello Darko, hello repeat season.

27. Milwaukee Bucks - Significant improvements by adding Hakim Warrick, Delfino and drafting Brandon Jennings.

28. LA Clippers – Would’ve been above the Bucks if I wrote this before Griffin’s knee cap massacre.

29. Minnesota Timberwolves – They nearly have a brand new team, but the problem is, those new players are scrubs mostly. Jonny Flynn and Sessions will be entertaining guards, Jefferson must continue his hard work.

30. Sacramento Kings –